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Personal Development

The key to quicker results

Have you ever found yourself going round and round in circles and seemingly stuck in the same place? You know what you want but just can’t quite seem to find the way to get it. Maybe you want to make more money, or get more clients, or lose a few pounds? I’m sure you, like me, have experienced such situations.

It seems to me that one of the most important qualities that we can develop is our ability to be flexible. Our successes are so often a process of trial and error that our willingness to change our approach and try something different is what will often make the difference. Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the co-creators of NLP, point out that if you have only one way to respond you are a robot. If you have two, you have a dilemma. If you have three choices you have flexibility.

People who are more flexible enjoy greater freedom. I learnt very quickly in my sales career that if you want to do business with a wide variety of people you have to be flexible in your approach. By being open and sensitive to feedback from each person you could adjust your approach to suit that person’s communication style. In the science of cybernetics the "Law of Requisite Variety" suggests that those components of a system which have the greatest flexibility and freedom are the most powerful.

Being flexible means different things in different situations but you have flexibility when you

• Are willing to see problems from many angles
• Are open to change in the light of experience or evaluation
• Have fewer rules
• Can put yourself in the position of others to see their point of view
• Are willing to try new ways of thinking and doing things
• Can turn on any state of mind when you like

Are there times when being more flexible could work to the benefit of yourself and others? Take some time to go back and acknowledge where you may have been inflexible in the past, or could still be now. Could your relationships be improved by you becoming a bit more flexible? Have you ever tended to keep on with something for too long before reluctantly changing? What areas of your life would improve if you begin to see and do things differently?

As you recognise where and when you could be more flexible and exercise this choice you may find things going ‘your way’ more often. You meet your goals quicker. You enjoy life more. You feel better because you realise that negative feelings are usually a sign that you just need to do something differently.

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